


Can't take the kid from the fight, take the fight from the kid

by WhereverMySITakesMe



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Panic Attacks, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self Harm, Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug, Why Do I Do This Too Her?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 13:30:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7686352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhereverMySITakesMe/pseuds/WhereverMySITakesMe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One of the windows was closed. There were three open windows but the fourth was closed. If it was open there would be more air and it would be easier to breathe. Wanda could never seem to get enough air.</p>
<p>"Window" she tries to say but nothing comes out. "Window!"</p>
<p>Her breath starts to come in uneven gasps. She was right, there wasn't enough air. It must have run out completely because none of it seems to be reaching her lungs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't take the kid from the fight, take the fight from the kid

When someone comes into her cell Wanda has to fight every fibre of her being telling her to cower away from him and crawl to a corner. That will get her another shock. She can't take another, it will be the death of her, she's sure of it. If he wants to hurt her there is nothing she can do to defend herself.

***  
One of the windows was closed. There were three open windows but the fourth was closed. If it was open there would be more air and it would be easier to breathe. Wanda could never seem to get enough air.

"Window" she tries to say but nothing comes out. "Window!"

Her breath starts to come in uneven gasps. She was right, there wasn't enough air. It must have run out completely because none of it seems to be reaching her lungs.

***  
Clint talks to her through the door while she showers. He tries to act like things are normal, talking about how girls take so long over their looks (what is he talking about? She hasn't showered in days or worn make up in weeks, it's all she can do to run a brush through her hair every other day), reminding her not to use his shower gel or leave the top off the shampoo.

It doesn't help though, because she knows why he's doing it. Showering unattended is one of the things she can no longer do (Clint and Steve are keeping a list somewhere). The last time she was in a shower stall without anything to ground her the walls had started closing in on her and she hadn't been able to breathe. She had shattered the glass walls-not with magic, never with magic-in her desperation to escape.

The cuts and lacerations on her arms sting as the water runs over them.

***  
When the man reaches for her collar she wants to say "Don't touch it, I can't take any more pain" but she can't seem to make the words come out of her mouth. All that comes out is a pitiful whine. She looks at him with pleading eyes and it's Steve, somehow Steve is there, but she's still shaking with fear, not wanting him to touch the awful device.

He doesn't touch it, instead he runs his thumb over her cheek and he's so gentle, so very gentle she almost doesn't flinch away. "It's okay, kid, everything is going to be okay. Let me get that thing off you and free your arms. I'm going to get you out of here"

He keeps stroking her face and talking soothingly like she's a cornered animal as he reaches for the back of the collar with his other hand. It only takes him a few moments to release the hateful weight from around her neck. It doesn't shock either of them and she wants to weep with relief.

"There we go, that wasn't so bad. Arms next. Come on, Wandie, we can do this"

***  
She has to keep focusing on the music. And breathing. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.

***  
"Are you going to feed her?" Clint sounds concerned as he calls out to the guard bringing him his food. He can still speak, he isn't racked with pain every time he moves even slightly.

"For goodness sake, what do you think she's going to do?" He's shouting as the man walks away. The guard won't feed her, none of them are going to, they are too afraid to come into her cell.

***  
Wanda wakes up in a tangle of bed sheets, soaked in cold sweat and struggling to breathe. Panting, not screaming, so no ones wakes and comes to her aid. She wraps her arms around herself, still shivering in the warm air. Her blue blanket is tangled around her waist.

***  
She thinks it's a fortnight after her rescue(it could be a month, she doesn't know) when Sam gives her an iPod and a pair of headphones and sits her in front of a computer to download music. He says that listening to music will ground her and relax her. When he comes back and finds her listening to the Sokovian national anthem over and over again he seems confused; they are the **Sokovia** Accords, but he doesn't stop her or ask for an explanation.

The music reminds her of when she sung, or rather, screamed, it in the streets. She can still remember the feeling. She had been full to the brim with rage at the injustice her country, her people, had suffered. But she had been empty too, a constant hollow ache inside from never ever getting enough to eat. The hunger had made her weak and faint but she had been so full of fight it didn't matter.

Now she doesn't think there is any fight left. It has been beaten out of her. HYDRA, losing Pietro, the raft, it's too much. She gets enough to eat now (she never seems to feel hungry, even when she forgets to eat for days) but she still has a hollow feeling inside. Instead of her stomach it's her heart that feels empty and aching. She doesn't feel angry any more, all she can feel is fear.

***  
Wanda is trapped in perfect darkness. She quickly realises the box she is locked in is airtight and tiny. She can already feel the oxygen running out and the air turning sour, making her sick in her stomach. She frantically tries to free herself. There isn't enough space to move her arms but she can scratch at the walls. She tries desperately to find a joint in the metal, something that she can break open but the walls are completely smooth. She scratches until all her fingernails are torn off but it doesn't help, nothing helps and she is going to die.

***  
She doesn't whine when Steve frees her arms, the straight jacket never hurt her, but she can't help but flinch every time he touches her. He keeps soothing her and once her arms are free he wraps one over his shoulders as he tries to help her stand. Her stiff and shaking legs won't bear her full weight.

***  
"Kid, you can't just not sleep ever. You'll die. And it will hardly help your mental state"

***  
The others have accepted that Wanda simply cannot speak anymore. She wants to and she tries but there always seems to be something stopping her, like all her fear concentrates in her throat and seals it off.

Despite being unable to speak she has to communicate somehow. She carries a notebook around her and painstakingly writes everything out (her handwriting and spelling are terrible, of course they are, she dropped out of elementary school). After a few days of that Clint says, "Do you think you would be able to sign?"

Steve says, "It's worth a shot" and Wanda becomes determined to be able to do it because she doesn't want anyone, even Steve, speaking for her and she desperately wants to reclaim her voice, something the raft took from her.

So she learns. Her confused mind and lack of clear memory make it incredibly hard but Clint is patient and she is, or used to be, naturally bright. She focuses on basic vocabulary, only the words she needs. The others learn too so she can talk directly to them.

Even in ASL she often struggles to finish a sentence or zones out when people are talking, making holding a conversation almost impossible. But then, she doesn't have much worth saying anymore anyway.

***  
In the raft she daydreamed that someone would come to rescue her. Vision could phase through the wall, phase through all the guards, scoop her up and fly away with her. It would be so easy for him that she almost hates him for leaving her to suffer.

***  
Wanda looks down at the arrow in her hand as she goes to knock it. She has been practising every day since Clint taught her so she spends hours alone outside. She can feel the magic thrumming in her veins and it frightens her. She hates it so much that something so incomprehensible, something that had taken lives, something so dangerous that it had to be restrained with repeated electrical shocks, is so fundamentally part of her. She looks at the arrowhead again. It is sharp enough to pierce the straw target, it could be sharp enough to tear through her skin to where the magic is and cut it out of her.

There is blood pouring over her hands now. It drips from her fingertips, red with magic that is leaving her body. Free, she is going to be free.

What are you doing?!" The arrow is pulled from her hand. Clint is back and he is shouting at her "I need to clean this up. There's a first aid kit inside" Clint drags her to her feet. The bloodstained arrow is still lying on the ground where she had left it. The magic is still running down her hands. Clint pushes her into a chair and she doesn't think she'll be doing much archery anymore.

***  
"Steve, she can't walk. They shocked her so many times. Poor kid probably doesn't know which way is up."

***  
Clint is aching to hug her, she can see it. All he wants is to wrap his arms around her and make her feel safe. She wants him to feel make her feel safe and secure as well, more than anything else in the world. But he's tried to hug her before and it's awful. She can't bare feeling trapped and he is so strong she feels like the air is being forced out of her lungs.

At least she can let people touch her now(as long as they don't touch her neck or trap her arms or make it hard to breathe). And she is making progress learning ASL. Steve said she should focus on that, that she is getting better even if it is so slow.

***  
Wanda is desperate to straighten her legs. Her muscles are burning from sitting in the same position for so long but it's obvious that whoever is controlling her collar thinks that any movement, no matter how slight, is a threat and she aches everywhere from the amount of shocks she's already suffered through.

She is also desperate to shout to Stark and to curse him because this is his fault, even if not directly. How the hell else were they going to restrain a witch?

She doesn't do that either. That would get her a shock.  
***  
Wanda is trapped in perfect darkness again. She quickly realises the box she is locked in is airtight and tiny. She can already feel the oxygen running out and the air turning sour making her sick in her stomach. She frantically tries to free herself. There isn't enough space to move her arms but she can scratch at the walls. She tries desperately to find a joint in the metal, something that she can break open but the walls are completely smooth. She scratches until all her fingernails are torn off but it doesn't help, nothing helps and she is going to die.

***  
Clint holds her hand as he leads her outside. It was a good day, one of the best she'd had since the raft, but he still insisted on treating her like a child. It doesn't bother her, actually. He leads her to an archery range and hands her a bow and a quiver of arrows, which was both completely ridiculous and entirely predictable. She wants to laugh but she still couldn't make a sound louder than a whisper. "Your solution to everything?" She signs, smiling, instead.

Clint is relieved to see her smile"You might like it. I find it calming, focusing completely on the target. The target is close enough for a beginner and the bow is pretty light"

She nods and signs "I am strong"

"You'll be great at this"

She lets him show her how to stand (not touching her neck, not constraining her arms) and how to knock and draw the bow then just leaves her to it. And he's right, it feels wonderful. She somehow manages to forget the rest of the world and just focus on the target. Eventually her arms start to ache, but it's a pleasant ache from using her muscles(not from electrocution or chemical torture) and it almost feels good.

She doesn't want to stop when Clint comes to tell her it's time for dinner but he promises she can do it again the next day, as much as she wants and he seems delighted that she found something pleasurable.

***  
Steve nods. "Sam can you take her while I free the others?"

"Sure. Easy, kid." The other man carefully picks her up with one arm under her knees and the other supporting her back. He's gentle enough but he's still touching her so she is still whimpering and recoiling.

***  
She doesn't fight while they roughly force her arms into a straightjacket and fasten a heavy metal collar around her neck. She couldn't fight them off and using her powers is out of the question, she is so groggy. That is because, hours before, as soon as any of them got near her, the people arresting her had stuck a needle in her arm and must have pumped her full of tranquillisers because she had blacked out almost immediately and even when she comes round again she can't see straight or remember her own name.

Later on the drugs wear off and she remembers who she is, where she is and why. She also remembers how afraid the man who drugged her was and how he deliberately gave her too much, just in case. Because no one cares how much they hurt her. She is just an animal that needs restraining.

***

Wanda wraps the fluffy blue blanket around her shoulders. It's like a hug, almost. Reassuring in the same way but light enough to not make her feel trapped. Wrapped up in it she thinks she might have a chance of sleeping through the night without horrific nightmares for once.

***

"Has she always been...like this?" Scott asks after seeing Steve and Clint care for her for the first three, awful, days. He thinks Wanda is asleep and can't hear him. He's wrong. "I guess it isn't something that the media would, or should, know about."

"No. This is new." Steve replies and mutters angrily "Just a kid."

***  
Pietro could come rescue her as well. It wouldn't be as easy for him but he would do it, even if it meant fighting every single guard. He'd do it for her. He'd do anything for her.

She starts to cry, she misses him so much and without thinking tries to wipe her tears away on her shoulder. She moves about a centimetre before she is engulfed in pain. Just like every time before it lasts less than a second but the burning agony is more enough.

***  
She has to keep focusing on the music. And breathing. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.

***  
She is even more frightened when Sam carries her into a helicopter but she doesn't dare use her powers or kick and writhe-she can't help but fear that somehow someone will hurt her for it. Her heart is beating so fast it feels ready to burst but Sam isn't done. He puts her in a chair and straps her in. She feels sick in her stomach, her body is unbearably tense, she can't hear Sam reassuring her and all she wants to do is scream. She can't understand why Sam and Steve freed her only to imprison her again.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by http://puzzle-dragon.tumblr.com/post/144214803939/prison-was-not-good-to-team-cap-but-prison-was


End file.
